I can't write much now, because I promised myself to be strong. I don't smoke and I must swim every day - I am late. I will write later.I am not wise, rather lonley and I promised myself to try very very hard to choose GOOD solutions. It is not easy. That's all. You can do whatever you want to. But it is not true that you see nothing. You must see love, the problem is that you want everything - it is too much. It is like with the fire. I was telling you, all you can have are fireworks - cold fire. Up to you. Take it or let me go. See you:)